One of the most important things that will help your child sleep better is having a consistent bedtime routine.

When your baby can easily predict what will come next, he will make connections in his brain. These connections will tell him to relax because it’s time for sleep.

I recommend starting a bedtime routine when your baby is just 6-8 weeks past your due date. Since we go by adjusted age for sleep milestones and this is the age where the night sleep starts to organize in the brain, it is a good time to start focusing on a simple bedtime routine. If your child is already older than this and doesn’t have a bedtime routine, it is never too late to start! A newborn’s bedtime routine will only include a few steps and as baby gets older you will want to add more into the routine. So your bedtime routine may change over time but it should be pretty consistent from day to day.

What if you have more than one child?

Figure out what works for you. In my house, we stagger bedtime for my 3 children. I recommend for all children to go into their own rooms for the bedtime routine. Otherwise, they can really amp each other up before bedtime. Try to divide and conquer with your spouse as much as possible. And if they aren’t available at bedtime- well then just do the best you can do! That’s really all we can do.

How long should a routine take?

It’s pretty common for the routine to take between 30-60 minutes if you include the bath. This is especially true if you are still doing a bedtime feeding and if you have more than one child.

Here are some BEDTIME DOS (in no particular order) for your bedtime routine:

Bath- Younger babies do not need to be bathed every night but I like to give a nightly bath once baby is 6 months or older. A bath can help a child sleep better by raising the body temperature while in the water and having it drop after they get out. The core body temperature needs to cool off in order to comfortably and easily fall asleep and stay asleep so baths are a great addition to the bedtime routine.

Brush teeth- Make sure to do this as soon as baby starts to get teeth. It should always be done after the final feeding.

Fresh Diaper- I highly recommend a good overnight diaper and diaper cream at night to avoid any rashes, leaking, etc.

Massage- Giving a little lotion massage can be very relaxing. You can try some lavender lotion for this. Make sure to rub the lotion between your hands to warm it up before putting it on baby.

Pajamas- I recommend the zipper PJs over the ones that snap as they are much easier for overnight diaper changes. Once your child hits the toddler stage, lots of choices throughout the day are important in order to avoid power struggles. Give a few options on their PJs for the night and let your child choose.

Feeding- If your baby is under a year old, he will need a bedtime feeding. Often for young infants this is the last step before going to sleep but for babies 6 months+ the feeding ideally would not be the last step in the routine. A baby associating eating right before sleep is not ideal. They rarely sleep through the night when this is the case.

Books- As someone with an education degree who worked on my Master’s in Language and Literacy Education, I can not stress enough why I think reading daily to your child is important. By 6 months, I recommend for books to be a regular part of the bedtime routine. They are often a good way to break up the feeding and going into the sleep space.

Songs/Prayers- Keep this part fairly short if you want your child to go down awake. A 5 minute song could help your child get a little more drowsy than is ideal.

Swaddle/Sleep Sack- There are many great options for these products. I recommend swaddling until a baby rolls from back to stomach and then it is important to wean the swaddle. Once you get rid of the swaddle you can either go to a swaddle transition product or straight to a sleep sack over the PJs.

Last trip to the potty– This is good to do towards the end of the routine for children who are potty training or already potty trained and not staying dry all night. (This is not abnormal until age 6, by the way.)

Down awake in the bassinet, Pack-N-Play or crib- This is the goal for babies 6 months+. If your baby is younger than this and can already go down awake, great. But no need to force it until that 6 month mark. At that point you don’t want your child to rely on having to eat, held, be rocked, watch TV, be laid with, etc in order to fall asleep. Don’t assume your child will just outgrow their sleep habits. That rarely ever happens. The sooner you fix the poor habits, the easier it will be! If you are struggling with this, I’d love to help: https://tulsapediatricsleepconsulting.com/contact/

BEDTIME DON’TS

Allow screen time before bed- It is recommended to stop all screen time (video games, iPad, TV, etc.) at least 1 hour before bed. The blue light that is emitted from screens like this hinders melatonin production.

Allow your child to stall- This is especially common with 2-6 year olds. If you aren’t careful, your bedtime routine will become longer and longer. If you give into any repeated calls or asks from your child, I guarantee they will continue to ask for those things. Make sure to have limits and boundaries that you are consistent with! A bedtime routine chart can be a great tool for the little ones who like to stall!

Play outside in the hour or so before bedtime- Being outside in the sunshine tells your body not to release any melatonin. Plus if your child is running around outside it’s kind of like an adult who exercises right before bedtime. That doesn’t usually go well. You want to start “shutting down the house” in the last hour or so before bedtime by closing blinds and curtains, dimming lights, turning off screens and talking in calmer voices, etc.

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