I felt very confident going into motherhood
I’d always loved babies and children and had a lot of experience with them. I was the oldest of many cousins, worked at a daycare as a teenager, was a nanny for the same four children my whole time in college and had taught elementary school for five years before I had my first baby. I’d taken all the classes and read all the books. I really felt like I knew what I was doing.
My baby let me know I was wrong. She was basically born with her eyes wide open. My daughter was highly alert. She had the worst FOMO. And she cried so much. SO much. She screamed and squirmed while I held her. No matter what I did, I could not soothe her. We could hardly leave the house because we were so worried about her causing a scene anywhere we went. There were times that I did not think I was going to survive her colicky infancy. I literally thought I was going to die from hearing her cry so much.
When you have a baby with a temperament type that you weren’t expecting and you weren’t exactly wanting, it is something that needs to be grieved. I was terrified that my other children would be colicky too, but thankfully they were so easy!
Looking back, the colic really didn’t last long
Looking back, the handful of months that my husband and I endured the colic seem like such a tiny amount of time in my daughter’s life but I will never forget the way the colic made me feel. My challenging, high-needs infant has turned into an amazing girl who is highly gifted, loves to dance and is as sweet as can be. She loves, loves, loves her mama- the same mama who could do nothing to help her or make her happy as an infant. In other words, the colic seems to have no long-term effects on her.
If you are a currently a mama (or daddy) of a colicky baby, you are not alone! I have been where you are. I know it is not a fun place to be. But it is not your fault! You are doing a wonderful job. You are doing the best you can. That tiny human loves you and will be able to show you some day. It won’t be long.
In the meantime, as a Happiest Baby on the Block Educator, I highly suggest looking at Dr. Karp’s 5 S’s and using them to help soothe your baby. The other thing I would really make sure to do is know what your infant’s windows of wakefulness should be and make sure to help your baby nap when it is time. The combination of overtired mixed with colic is not pretty!! Try to avoid it if you can.
Have hope and hang in there! I promise that this too shall pass!